The time officially came in which I dropped the ball on this whole gratitude thing. Well, in fairness, I dropped the ball on the blog portion. I still journaled my daily gratitude on days thirty five and six (I journal the thoughts as I have them, then blog them later)...I just never got to the blog portion. But, in keeping the integrity of the project, I am posting days thirty five and six now (on day thirty seven) and will post today's in a separate blog. What a mess. That'll teach me to skip days.
Day thirty five was a really hard day of life. Honest conversations had to be had and truths had to be spoken and these are things that I, a confrontation avoider, tend to hide from with every ounce of my being. But alas, a part of growing older is realizing that truths can be said without being brutal (I am not a fan of the term brutal honesty), and that, sometimes, holding back your truths can be even more damaging than speaking them. But regardless, the challenges of the day made blogging a feat I simply could not conquer. However, on day thirty five, I was grateful for my sunrise walk and the leaf pictured above. Yes, on a basic witch level, it's that first little slap of autumnal serotonin, but also, it's the beautiful representation of what I love most about Autumn. It's the point in the wheel of the year where trees change color and start to release leaves that they cannot carry throughout the introspective and dormant season of Winter, serving as a vibrant reminder of just how beautiful letting go and giving in to surrender can be. Humans as a whole struggle to let go in many areas (see: any older adult that clings to the "better days" of the past) because the fear of moving forward into unknown territory can be all consuming. But the trees have it down to an art - create something beautiful in the art of letting go, take some time to go within, and reemerge even more lush and beautiful on the other side. So on day thirty five, I was grateful for the sunrise walk, the gorgeous scenery, and the lessons held within nature.
Day thirty six was a better day, and I had much to be grateful for. But after careful thought and consideration, I realized the thing that stood out the most was my gratitude for conversations with strangers. People have a tendency to just...talk with me. Strangers who know nothing about me sometimes feel the need to tell me large portions of their life stories, and honestly, while it may annoy some, I'm grateful for it. Sometimes I think it's easier to tell your big truths to a total stranger, because you don't have to fear their judgement. I'm grateful to be that person for some people. But of course, I'm also grateful for the day of adventures, the mountain coaster ride, the new shiny rocks, and all the other magic of the day.
I'd really wanted to make it through the entirety of this project without missing a day, but alas, life happened. The words wouldn't flow. I had to make space for big emotions to roll through while still managing to hold space for gratitude. Life transitions are the worst sometimes, to be honest. But after the darkness of winter, the new blooms of spring can begin, and that's something to keep close to heart, and to be grateful for.
Dominique
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