"I don't know why all the trees change in the Fall,
but I know you were on my side even when I was wrong,
And I love you for giving me your eyes,
For staying back and watching me shine and
I didn't know if you knew so I'm taking this chance to say
that I had the best day with you today."
-lyrics from a Taylor Swift song that I quoted for this project eight years ago and am quoting again
The cool thing about sharing this project via Facebook as I have done over the last eight years (though never made it all the way through to the end) is that I get to be reminded of all of the things I have been grateful for, and sometimes past gratitude sparks the feeling of gratitude in the present, like it did today. Today I'm grateful for my mother, because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I got the best one there is.
When I was four years old I developed a habit of bolting out the front door stark naked, with nothing but my ambitions to adorn me. My poor, reserved mother would have to chase me through the cul-de-sac, echos of "Dominique Rose! Get your naked ass back here!" ringing through the air as my little legs carried me as fast as they could muster. She'd tell me there were some parts of my body that weren't meant to be rushed with "outside air." And then I became Pagan so, I sure showed her amirite? The habit stuck around for a while, but she did eventually put a deadbolt on the top of the door where I couldn't reach. The reason I share this story to start this blog is because, my mom and I are extremely different souls in some respects, yet she has loved and supported me through all of my antics (which clearly started at a young age and, bless her, never really stopped...just changed) while also doing her very best to keep me safe and protected from the threats of the outside air...I mean world.
I know not everyone is lucky to have a great relationship with their parents, but my relationship with my mom has always been a good one. I never remember having a bad rebellious streak where I suddenly hated her as a teenager, but I think that's because she really never stopped me from expressing who I was or living life as myself. She fully supported me through all of the holes I put in the wall by changing posters constantly, through my middle of the night shifts in furniture arrangements, through my far too much eyeliner and way too heavy on the hair bleach phase...she loved me through it all. Did she set rules and boundaries to keep me safe? Well, yeah. I'm alive aren't I? But she never stifled me under an expectation to be a mirror image of her, or really to be anyone other than who I always was.
She fanned the fires of my wild streak by waking me up before the sun and whispering, "Hey, let's go on an adventure." Something I had really hoped to share with my family, but unfortunately they aren't the before the sun bunch. Or the adventure bunch, to be honest. So I'm grateful to be back with my adventuring buddy, my mother with a wild streak of her very own (one that just doesn't include skyclad laps around the neighborhood), who, at seventy one years old, still happily rises to the occasion of "let's go on an adventure" whispers. Something my soul desperately needs.
So yeah, today I am grateful for my mother. She taught me to bake, and to do laundry appropriately. She taught me the dishes can wait when there are adventures to be had. She held me on the bathroom floor as I sobbed over my first breakup. She got me through fourteen years of monthly IV infusions and a few life saving surgeries just to keep me on this marble. While now, as an adult, I know the pain and struggle that must have put her through was immense, she never let little me see. She was always the picture of strength, resilience, love, and compassion, another gift I am grateful for. She helped me buy my first car and taught me to fill out a resume. And most importantly, the gift I wish all parents would impart on their children, she gave me the space and encouragment to live, unashamedly, exactly as I am. As long as those behaviors don't include neighborhood nudity. I mean, come on, getting arrested isn't the kind of adventure we're after anyway so...she's probably right.
If you weren't given it by your parents, or even if you were, please be sure to give yourself the space to live and grow into exactly who you are. Because I know that person is amazing.
- Dominique (because she hates Dommie, to be honest. She hates Nikki even more.)
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